Women Only!

I always say to Paster James and Robinah that I am certainly NOT a preacher. 

They have all types of people wander through their community at certain stages and many of these are preachers/pastors. 

 

This is not me!

 

I am always clear that I will do whatever I can to educate the community but preaching is really not my thing.

 

This time Robinah asked if I would do something for the women of the village. 

 

Previously we have covered topics such as malaria, hand washing and child protection.  So this was a different topic but one I could get to grips with.  It was also lovely to share this opportunity with the two most important ladies in my life, my Mum and my daughter.

 

So I quickly planned a workshop for the ladies of the community.  I thought about safety and relationships, as well as parenting.  I included some games and activities.  After all my training is in youth work, and not preaching.  I love activities that get people thinking, and cause them to go home and come to their own conclusions.  It’s a different concept for people who are normally just told to sit and listen.

 

So we arrived at church to be greeted by approximately 15 women.  All the woman had eagerly turned up for a ‘Women’s Conference.’  I noticed none of the younger girls were present so asked if we could invite those along too.  This caused a delay but gave Robinah a chance to talk to the ladies on any issues concerning them.

 

Then we began……

 

Our notice went up on the door and we caused chaos!  What woman has ever banned the men from the building!  Yep that’s right – this one!

 

We had agreement line games, discussions, scenarios.  We had the whole room up and moving about.  As the workshops began, more and more women and girls joined us.  Eventually we ended up with around 50 women joining us for the acticities and discussions.  We listened to everyone’s views and then educated to the best of our ability.

 

There were a.m.a.z.i.n.g. discussions raised.

 

We learned how most Ugandan women feel the weaker part in a marriage.  We learned how men can be violent towards women and how the community deal with this situation.  We learned how difficult it is for a women to leave a violent relationship and how stigmatised a woman can become if she stands up to a man.  We learned how much these women do to keep these families and communities alive.  We learned how education is important for women and how no man would stop them if they wanted to go back to school/college.  We learned that these women all know they have equal rights to men, and in theory they accept and believe this, but in reality, in the heart of Africa, this is simply just a theory and rarely gets put into practice. 

 

It was a reality check for all of us attending. 

 

We were able to share from each others cultures. 

 

The main thing was, we got women talking about issues that are normally off bounds.  We created a safe environment in which women could talk and share.  We had girls as young as 14 and elderly woman all in the same room, all sharing openly of their views and concepts of being a woman, being married, being a mother. 

 

We threw in some hot topic scenarios like the baby boom adoption industry.  Thankfully this is a concept unheard of in this village, but by highlighting it now, these women can foresee this and look out for the signs.  We encouraged the sense of community you see here.  When community feels and looks like family, it is difficult for a baby to simply ‘disappear’.  People ask questions here and when someone is struggling, the whole community try to help.  These women know their babies are precious and we told them to never forget that. 

 

The funniest thing was seeing Pastor James and some other men, creeping around the church building.  Banished to the outside, we sent them away with a task – prepare the food.  Now that’s role reversal for you! 

 

The women had a meal before heading home.  Pastor James says he prepared the food, but I am a little suspicious as one of his older daughters remained home?!?! 

 

 

 

Days later the women were still talking about the women’s conference.  Robinah admitted it had made her re-evaluate her life and morals.  If we caused women to question a negative situation they are in and make a positive change in their life, then we did all we needed to do during our time in Uganda.  If we helped a young girl avoid early marriage and motherhood, then again our time in the village can only be viewed as a success.

There were three in the bed......

And the little one said.........................

 

Goodnight from Uganda x

Baby Boom Business

It's amazing how many people (mzungu/white) walking around with their tiny brown little bundles in their arms.  There is a huge business in baby adoptions here.  It's very controversial and very corrupt.

There are lots of really good organisations, like Malaika Babies Home, who use domestic adoptions to find these precious little ones new families.  There are Ugandans waiting to adopt here.  There are very few under 3's who need to look at international adoption.   

(Side note - but can you imagine the controversy if people from another country came into the UK or USA and adopted all the under 3's???  There would be an uproar!  So why is it different here?)

Money talks! 

Money causes the whole system to change.  People see $$$ signs and babies literally go to the highest bidder. 

Babies are even being purposely twinned to meet demands.  These children are placed together as if twins, given to the sam adopting family, just because they are close in age. 

Mothers are being groomed here into thinking they are incapable of caring for thir babies.  They are being led to believe that adoption is the only 'good' choice they can make for their children.  They are actively encouraged to give up their children for international adoption.  They are told they will see them again and not the reality of losing all contact with their child as soon as they board that plane.

Poverty does not give us the right to remove these babies from their country and certainly not from their mothers. 

There is a huge booming baby business here and it's simply not right.

There are children in need of international adoption here but they are mainly over 5.  They are genuine orphans and have been in the care system for a long time.  There are also many special needs children in need of adoption.

So if adoption is in your heart, consider the genuine children in need of adoption first and don't get caught up in the baby industry.  Carry out all the relevant investigations and more if you want the truth.  Most importantly, throughout it all, if something feels wrong or corrupt, it probably is.  Ask all those awkward questions and let your head lead your heart.   

Memory Making.

We didn’t know what this trip to Uganda would look like.  The main purpose of our trip was for Lutaaya to have safe time to explore her birth culture.  I wanted her to see the beautiful land that she was born into and to help with her identity. 

 

At the 'Bread and Cake Shop'

The main thing I wanted to take away from this trip was to create treasured memories.  The majority of Lutaaya’s good memories of Uganda are from the time we were in country together waiting for her Visa to come through.  It saddened me that these were some of her only positive memories of Uganda. 

Our visit to Watoto church

 

So this trip we planned lots of memory making moments.

 

Kiwatale gardens and pool

We took time out of our schedule to go to the pool. 

 

Such a beautiful day for a swim

We spent a few nights in a luxury hotel, having a proper holiday.  This hotel had a pool but we only managed one morning dip in it due to our busy schedule.  Maybe next time we’ll have a ‘day off’ at this hotel to spend a day relaxing at the pool side?

 

The picturesque setting at our hotel

I hoped that all this happy time would help Lutaaya fall in love with Uganda. 

 

And you know what?

 

 

It did!

 

One morning, my girly talked of something she would do ‘next time we come to Uganda.’  She went on to add all those people she would love to bring to Uganda ‘next time we come.’

 

Yes!  She has a passion for Uganda in her heart just like her Mam.

Diverse City

Kampala has two extremes living side by side.  The wealth in this country is phenominal.  The new buildings springing up are out of this world.  I mean, even our guest house has a bathroom better than ours back home!

Look at the fancy gold decor to the toilet!!

The room in which we are staying in has a huge balcony that overlooks the surrounding community.  When yo uwalk out onto the balcony reality hits you that you are in the heart of Africa.  Our lovely hotel is smack bang in the middle of a small village.  The community is mainly based on rock mining.  Just outside our walls, people are living on basics. 

Our community for our stay in Kampala

Sitting in our room and the electricty cuts out.  A small, gentle reminder that yes, this is indeed Africa.  It's a tiny obstacle when those around you are facing huge hurdles to simply survive.

One of the women at the end of our road, breaking the big rocks into smaller stones

Sometimes, we all sure do forget just how blessed we are!

Our adventure begins

So we made it to Uganda.  What a start to the morning, with heavy snow?  It was a struggle to get to the airport but we made it and everything ran to time.  Turkish airlines were very good to travel with. 

We realised we travelled through 5 different countries within 24 hours - Wales, England, Turkey, Rwanda, Uganda.  Wow!  What a journey!

To say were tired when we arrived was an understatement.

We had a friendly welcome at the airport with Abu picking us up.  He did so well in organising our accomodation while we are in Kampala.  We have a huuuuge room, with our own bathroom facilities and walk in wardrobe!  It's amazing.  The main thing is, there are friendly staff and it is spotlessly clean. 

A quick nap on arriving and we soon had our first visitors - Keren and her daughter.  We brought some goodies out to them.  It was lovely to see them again.

We spent the morning at Watoto church.  We hoped to grab brunch afterwards, but guess what?  Mwanzo's no longer do brunch! :(

So it was a trip to the food court, where Abu got the surprise of his life as the waiters tried touting for business.  Yes, if you've been here, you know exactly what I mean, and if you haven't - you should come and experience it for yourself!

So today we've had a lazy day, trying to sort out phones and internet.  We had a very early wake-up call 5.30am, with a local lady on a speaker preaching to the village!  We really didn't appreciate her timings.  We could just about handle the general noise of the village animals but this was at a totally different sound level! 

We still have no internet at the guest house so have quickly popped to the internet cafe to update everyone that we arrived safely.  Hopefully if we get internet access I can upload some pictures on here and facebook and keep you more regularly updated.

We are getting into Ugandan life with the bartering for special hire taxis.  The Ugandan boda boda drivers find it hilarious that I can say I want to walk in Lugandan, and Lutaaya thinks it's pretty funny too!  This mzungu will not pay mzungu prices!

Hoping to get to do some work out here too, so we'll see where that leads and keep you posted.

Time to go grab some food.............

Street Children

There are so many children on the streets here in Kampala, it is truly heart breaking.  Lutaaya was struck by the sight of so many children having to resort to begging.  These childre, clothed in rags, sitting on the side of the road, begging.  Then the children who risk their lives by weaving in and out of the busy Kampala traffic, to try and get some handouts from the passengers passing by. It really is such an upsetting scene.

You can feel helpless.  To do nothing is almost a sin.  How can I tell my child to simply ignore them?  So many do, but yet how can they turn their heads as if they are not there? 

To hand over money is never a good option as you never know who is watching these children.  Many mothers of the children hang around, close by.  Many are Karamajong women, moved from their area. 

We can't turn our heads and do nothing.

We can't change their lives during our short stay but we can out something in their tummies. 

So we fill our bags with bread rolls and as they pass our taxi, we fill their hands with a few sweet, nutritious rolls. 

It's a small way of helping.  A tiny gesture but in the midst of it all we hope it carries a great meaning - we care!