Changes take us back to square one!

Sometimes on an adoption journey you take three steps forward and then two steps back.  Certain times you feel like you have taken a giant leap back and have ended up back at square one. 

Change is certainly a factor to this.  Whoever says 'change is good' needs to try parenting a child with autistic tendencies or who has suffered trauma. 

Children who have suffered trauma love consistency and routine.  I'd go as far to say all children work at their best when there is a consistent pattern and routine to life.  As adults we like to know what's coming our way and can settle into a comfortable, predictable way of life.  Children who have suffered trauma seem to hang on to this routine more so than others.

When routine changes, so does behaviour.

It's usually the main care giver (Mum or Dad) who take the brunt of this behaviour change, even though, the changes may be very much out of their control.

There have been a lot of changes we have recently had to deal with.  Changes most children would cope quite well with and probably go unnoticed.  A change of school start time, a change of school uniform, a change of form tutor in school, a change of timetable, a change of school dinner menu.  Too many changes, too quickly for some children to cope with.  A time when there is a sense of 'losing control'. 

It's tough on kids who need the stability of constant adults in their life to suddenly have a change of faces.  A simple comment of, 'I'll be with you, to support you right the way through school' is a forgotten statement when schools adjust staff to meet needs but yet confirms again that maybe not all adults can be trusted.  It wasn't meant in that way, but has been perceived in that way.  It gives the idea that maybe a child needs to push away at all the boundaries trusted adults in their life set, just to see if they are keeping their promise, that forever means forever.

Its in the little details of keeping days 'normal'.  Sticking to a routine.  Being a parent who can juggle the inconsistencies and make them as foreseeable as possible.  Even an unexpected trip out can turn a child's world upside down.  It's about warning lights that may trigger in that child's behaviours and demeanours, to stop that child from getting stuck in a melt down.   Sometimes you have to see the storm brewing and put in the mechanisms to cope with the fall out.  Sometimes you may be lucky enough to even prevent that fall out happening.

In those three steps forward, when we are parenting effectively and making progress, we plan and prepare for those two steps back.  We learn as we go along.  We build relationships with our children and we rely on support networks around us to help us support our children while keeping ourselves supported.  This stuff is draining and easy it is certainly not.  The parenting magic wand is very needed in these situations, but for those of us who still haven't found the magic wand, we keep going, we continue to try new methods of moving our children forward and we walk alongside our children.  Even if we only make it off square one and onto square two - it is progress.  This step could be HUGE!  So pat yourself on the back and keep going.

And for all those looming challenges (changes in routine) that will happen due to summer holidays and the start of a new school term in September - bring it on, this Mama is ready and waiting!!!!

An Update from Uganda

Well the community in Buweri have been very busy relocating the pit latrines.

Here is the new site.

Look at all the building materials WE bought - can't thank you enough.

And the best picture of all........

The work has started and soon there will be a pit latrine for the children in the Primary school.

All thanks to you.

IF campaign, have you got yours?

So the G8 summit is looming and we still press on the World's leaders to make a change so that no one in years to come, will suffer from hunger.

Imagine this......

The Hunger Museum

You can sign the IF campaign in advance of the G8 summit, to get your voice added to others and lobby our leaders and you can show your support by wearing an IF wrist band.  You can buy then online or pop into your local Oxfam shop and buy one there. 

Proudly wearing my IF wristband - get yours today!

And just in case you want some famous faces to encourage you to support this campaign.........

Pit Latrine in progress

I'm sure many of you are wondering why there hasn't been any mention of the pit latrine for a while. 

While we were in Uganda we were able to visit the big pits that had already been dug out ready for  building work to start.  The day we visited the pit was the day the heavens opened.

We trudged through the mud to see the pit and here it is in all it's glory.

Unfortunately the rains became even heavier after we left the village.  Pastor James and Robinah had organised the pits to be dug in advance of the rainy season.  This way the ground would be soft enough to dig.  The rains make the ground become clay-like and no one would manage to manually dig the soil. 

What they hadn't expected was for the rains to be so heavy that they would make the pre-dug pits collapse before any work had started on them.  And that's just what happened......


So now we await for the rainy season to stop, where new pits can be dug in a new (hopefully safer) location around the school, and the work can begin.  The money is all ready and waiting in Uganda, so as soon as the pit is relocated, building work can start and the children will get the brand new toilets they so desperately need.  As soon as we have any updates, they will be shared on here!

Where did Top Gear go wrong?

For those of you in the UK who saw the recent Top Gear episode that saw them stay the night in a very crummy guest house in Uganda and thought 'No way would I EVER want to go there!' We thought we would show you some alternative accommodation:

 

Our room was huge at our Kampala guest house



 And then for those of you who want that extra bit of luxury.  This is the hotel where we paid that little bit more to have that holiday factor!  This hotel is a 4 hour drive from Kampala, in the Mbale region, though there are hotels of the same branding in the Kampala area.

What a reception area!

 

So there you go!  You can stay in fabulous places in Uganda!  You can have a family holiday here!  It really is an amazing place to visit.  And for those of you travelling to Uganda and want to know more about the hotels and guest houses, drop me an email at natashas.africa@gmail.com and I can get more details to you.
 

Love letters

Since 2006 I have sponsored a little girl's school fees in the village I visit.

Meet Tendo. 

She goes to school because of a small donation from me. 

 

Sponsoring a child's school fees is a small act that goes a long way to keeping families together.  By covering the cost of school fees, there is a strain taken off the family, and this frees up money to go on other essentials, such as food and hygiene products.

 

While in Uganda, Tendo handed me the sweetest little envelope ever.  Handmade by her.

 

 

Inside was the loveliest little note.

 

 Just in case you can't read the note, it says,
'Hello Natasha.  I love you like a fish in water and I still love you my friend.  Happy Easter, Tendo xxx'

There are lots of charities that offer you the opportunity to sponsor a child's school fees. 
Some larger charities are World Vision,  and Compassion  Check out my friend's blog, where they have started a new organisation helping keep children in families and out of institutions, their organisation is called Reunite.  Then there is the wonderful work of Malaika Babies Home.  They work tirelessly to resettle children with birth families if at all possible and turn to domestic adoption as the next option. 

Children are children, the world over

Kids will be kids.  No matter where you are in the world, children can fill a day with laughter.

Let a few loose with a camera and you end up with an array of photographs and a whole heap of 'dressing up' shots.

Right little posers

Mini models

This little guy has the look of a Pastor already, following in his Dad's footsteps I'm sure

If only they did proms in Uganda!  Joanna is all ready to go!  Look at this outfit!

And just in case you didn't get the picture that these girls are dreaming of top model jobs - here's your proof!  So funny!