Mothering Sunday

It was my first Mothering Sunday last weekend.  Lutaaya has certainly grown into celebrations since living in Wales.  She was very secretive in trying to buy me gifts without my knowing.  She loved the concept of it all. 
So, after all the hype, Sunday morning arrived.  My little girl awoke at 6am.  Now I can tell you this is a very rare event.  Lutaaya NEVER wakes herself.  I'm sure she would lie in bed all day if I didn't wake her.  On this occasion though, the excitement obviously got the better of her and she was raring to go.

Lutaaya expected to make me breakfast, but at 6am this wasn't what I was wanting.  I wanted a normal Sunday morning wake up!  I love my sleep and yes, the lie ins are certainly not as long as they used to be on a weekend now that I'm a Mum but 6am was WAY too early.  So a little bit of encouragement and Lutaaya accepted the offer of jumping in at the side of me.  What a mistake!  She continued to fidget, cough, sneeze, poke and ask (every five minutes) 'is it time to get up now Mam?'  But you know what?  I wouldn't change her, or this morning for the world.

As soon as I showed signs of movement, she was up and off to her hideaway in her bedroom where my gifts were hiding.  Oh how proud she was to give me the gifts she had chosen herself.

This was taken just before heading to church, not for you to think she sleeps in her jacket!!

So up we got and she was soooo eager to help make breakfast.  She is a dab hand at tea making now, with some supervision on the kettle part.  I guess she lost some of her independency when she moved out of the orphanage.  Having small tasks like this give her that little bit of responsibility that she desperately craves.

A little time later there was a ring on the doorbell.  Lutaaya runs to the door and comes back with a huge grin on her face and carrying the most beautiful floral display in her arms.  The final gift arrives.  She was stressing earlier because she didn't grasp the concept of haing the flowers delivered and even rang her Jjajja to find out what was happening with them, bless her.  On the doorbell she obviously knew what would be waiting, but never uttered a word to the lady delivering them (sorry), as in her excitement she simply forgot and left her standing on the doorstep. 

What a wonderful day with my little princess.  Although days like today make me reflect on the joy of having my daughter, it also makes me think of all the mothers out there who struggle in the battle motherhood offers them.  Those that struggle in caring for their little ones, in poverty, war, disaster, family break up.  Those that make that uncomprehendable decision of giving their babies away in an attempt to get them a better future.  Those who watch their little ones who are sick or at risk. 

There are many children, like Lutaaya, who don't get the same opportunities as she does.  She has been fortunate to have a chance of a family.  A chance of a new life.  A chance of a future.  I have the chance to be her mother.

The Charity, World Vision, is currently carrying out a campaign for mother's day.  They want to know your happy mother's memory.  Either of a time from your own childhood or a time when your sweet child has made you smile.  Did you know that a child's first smile typically happens at a month old?  But every year more than three million children die before they even reach that age.  A shocking fact but a real one!

World Vision is committed to improving the health and nutrition of women and children in the areas which it works, contributing to the global reduction in under five and maternal mortality.  The organisation is also trying to persuade world leaders to put mothers and children first.

So why not share your 'happiest mum moment' with world vision and in doing so, they'll add your name to their Child Health Now Petition.  Your happiest smile could change the future for another mother who you may never meet but can hold in your heart.

Lutaaya's Baptism

Having Lutaaya baptised was one of the important things to do in my book as soon as we came home.  With Christmas and her birthday, I put off her baptism until things settled down a bit.  Too much stimulation and exciting times in her life can make her crave more, so it was nice to have a short break and then consider baptism dates.  So with a lot of planning and preparation, 27th March was to be the date.

Having Lutaaya baptised was a symbolic act in her Christian journey.  She has been brought up at the orphanage as a Christian and has entered into our Christian family.  Her faith is strong.  Her faith is REAL!  After all, she prayed for this adoption and look what happened!  She didn't need us, as her parent and Godparents, to stand and make a declaration of faith on her behalf.  She is more than able to make that stand herself.  But baptism is something that I felt we needed.  I needed to celebrate with my Christian family, the joy Lutaaya brings into our hearts.  I wanted them to see her faith alive.  So a baptism service seemed the best option for us.

Lutaaya had a dress made for her baptism.  A kind lady, named Julie, kindly made the dress as Lutaaya's welcome home gift.  Julie has a bridal shop in our town and it was such a thoughtful act for her to make this dress and give it us as a gift.  We certainly wouldn't have found a dress as beautiful.  So thank you Julie for your kind heart.

Lutaaya was so excited all day.  She thrived being in the limelight again.  Obviously she had four doting Godparents all day too.  Deciding on Godparents was a tough task but the choices seemed to jump out eventually when I gave some time, prayer and thought into it.  They are all special people in Lutaaya's life.  Uncle Cameron flew home from France for the day.  He had never met Lutaaya face to face as he left for France the week before we came home.  They've had many a skype chat though and instantly bonded.  Uncle Dan and Uncle Jason are two of my best friends.  Jason came to Uganda in 2008 with me.  He knew of the adoption process idea long before anyone else and I think when we were in Uganda, he realised the love I had for this precious girl.  Lutaaya loves her Uncle Jason, especially when she hangs off his arms and winds him up.  Dan is the sensible one (on times).  He was the one to sit me down and question the reality of the adoption going ahead.  He is the one I can count on in a crisis and is always there to help me out when I need it, and I hope he sees that as vice versa too.  I know he will offer the same to my beautiful daughter.  Then there's Lutaaya's one and only Godmother, Ellen.  Lutaaya knows Ellen as Auntie Ellen, but also as Mrs Waite, as she teaches at Lutaaya's school.  Ellen was the one who kept the support coming even on my darkest days during the adoption process.  While the home study was ongoing she kept me upbeat and sent loads of support my way.  She was always the person I could rely on for optimism, even when I was stuck in Uganda waiting for the Visa.  There was always an email saying, 'what can I do to help?'  And since bringing Lutaaya home, that support has remained.  In the form of friendship, optimism and also help with Lutaaya's schooling.  In seeing Ellen with her own daughter, I simply think, if I can do as good a job as she has, I won't go far wrong.

And here they all are with Fr John, who gave a wonderful service for the occasion.

Lutaaya is extremely blessed to have such wonderful people in her life.  Plus the people don't stop there and I want to use this blog to say a HUUUUGE thank you to everyone who helped make Lutaaya's day the success it was.  Firstly for everyone who helped with the food, my parents, grandparents, Aunties.  Sarah (and I think Steve) for making the rice and pasta salad.  Nancy and Sara, for the Welsh cakes that went down a treat.  Barbara for making the iced slices.  Abu for working so hard in helping tidy up.  Anita and Lorraine who took charge of the refreshments so we could meet and greet.  And finally for everyone who took the time out to attend and share in Lutaaya's special day.  Thank you for all the wonderful gifts you gave her.  She really is one very blessed little girl.  THANK YOU!

Kids and concerts

Anyone who has met Lutaaya when she is in her safe environments, will know she loves music and dance.  She simply loves it.  This week opened up the door of opportunity for Lutaaya to experience two very different aspects of music.  Firstly off we trotted to the Wales Millennium Centre to see her first Musical, We Will Rock You.

Outside the Millennium Centre

It was very loud and very bright.  Lutaaya moved with the music throughout the show and smiled/laughed at the funny parts, making me know she understood the story line.  What she couldn't process were her thoughts on whether or not she liked it??  It's difficult, when you travel with a bus full of people, for them not to understand that it takes Lutaaya a little longer than most of us to process her thoughts and construct an opinion.  She needs time to mull things over and then make a decision on her thoughts on something.  So being bombarded with questions of, 'do you like it?' or 'are you enjoying it?' or 'is it good?', are still too difficult to answer on the spot for my little girl.  Each question always answered the same way, with an, 'I don't know!'  It's not that she doesn't understand what you've asked or that she's being rude, it's her genuinely not knowing what her answer will be.  And she won't talk about anything until a good few hours later or even the next day.
Living with Lutaaya, you get to see the response of when she's made that decision.  If something is too difficult to deal with or she doesn't understand she can either start asking questions or simply become withdrawn and not speak.  Two very different extremes to her behaviour.  One thing is for sure though.  If she likes something, you certainly know about.  She will chat about it for hours and for days after.
So, as I put her to bed, she answered the many questions asked her today, singing a line of one of the Queen songs.  If it's sunk in enough to be repeated, it goes on the 'like' list!

Later this week we had the honour and privilege of seeing the Watoto Children's Choir perform locally.  Amazing, awe-inspiring, tear jerking night.  Lutaaya loved the traditional songs and dancing and it certainly made her Lugandan come back a little.  What was difficult for Lutaaya to deal with was hearing all the children's stories.  Each child with their own unique story of desperate times and destitution.  All the stories of these children thankfully end in hope due to the Watoto charity.  If you're interested in finding out more about Watoto, don't take my word for it, see their website here.  They do amazing work.  Sadly, in the back of my mind, as in the minds of everyone else who has been to Africa, are the many children who still live these destitute lives without anyone advocating for them or helping them out of the absolute poverty they find themselves in.

Comic Relief

Since coming home Lutaaya has had a bit of a fantasy Uganda.  She spent the past 7 years of her life in an orphanage so to her that is the Uganda she remembers.  Other than her first 2 years (give or take some months due to the age), she wouldn't have experienced the utter poverty of the slums.  Her walk to school, long though it was, passed by some of the more privileged homes.  Most had four walls, some huge driveways and all with the essentials we need.  Only on a few occasions when we were in Uganda did Lutaaya see a glimpse of slum life, when our beloved taxi driver, Henry, tried taking a short cut (which often proved to take us longer than the normal route), and we ended up the other side of a river to the one slum in Uganda.

Even so, she knows suffering.  She knows what's fair and what's not.  She knows when life is too tough for a little one.  She summed it up nicely the other day when she told me we don't have poor people in Wales.  I tried explaining that some people in Wales are poor, and she responds, but not like in Uganda.  And no.  None of us in Wales are poor.  We have an easy ride.  We ALL live beyond our means.  We have a very nice benefits system, that we all have our opinions on, that is there to catch people when they fall.  We also have a benefits system that people manipulate to their financial gain, but thats a whole different story.  Lutaaya knows, at 10 years old, that we are not poor here.  We will never know the suffering of poverty in Africa.

Then along comes comic relief 2011.  A night of TV that helps raise the profile of projects in Africa and here in the UK, helping the poor and needy.

Now I've been very restrictive over what Lutaaya watches on TV.  The soaps are banned here.  I mean, next time you turn on a soap, just list the story lines in your head and tell me they give children a balanced view of the world.  The tell us of a world filled with crime, violence, fear, broken lives.  Bad news sells!  Not what any child needs to hear, let alone a child who may have experienced the topics in reality.  So watching Comic Relief was a BIG decision.

See the Mbale hospital appeal here!   Mbale is one of the places I visit in Uganda.

And the decision was for Lutaaya to watch the evening of programmes that helped raise money for the charities involved.  I kinda gathered that if it affected her in a bad way we could turn over at any time.  No need for that plan.  She was engrossed.  She took on every aspect.  She talked about the children's feelings living in the poverty and she then became motivated to help!  Yay I have a child who will follow in my footsteps and help others.  Not through self-gratification, simply to feel a duty and be moved to act.

So it's back to the baking and Comic Relief or Red Nose Day cakes.

Lutaaya had fun making them and then she sold them 50p a cake.  She was so keen to get the money to comic relief and said, do it now Mam, those children are dying!  Such simple, truthful words.  Did you give?  If not to Comic Relief, then find a charity working in Uganda and helping street children or Aids orphans.

Bikes, bumps and bruises

Lutaaya asked for a bike for her birthday and I managed to get her just that.  We haven't had the weather to go out and learn to cycle in the days after her birthday so it's been put to one side and the bike simply sat there.  However, lately the weather has been kind to us and the sun has shone.  So out we go.

My grandparents have a lane at the back of their house that is very quiet.  It's the ideal place for a learner bike rider.  Lutaaya looks the part in her cycle helmet.  Her balance however took some work.  She genuinely believed that she would simply sit on the bike and be able to ride.  Little did she know that it would end up in her being in a heap on the floor.

Bless her!  Her little face as she realised that maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as she'd imagined.  But still she tries.  Each weekend we've been blessed with good weather, we've been out in the lane trying our hardest.  Her balance is improving but she's not there yet.  So for the time being I will run at the side of my little princess and help her steady herself on her bike.  I know at some point I have to let go, but knowing that this will likely result in a bump and bruise, at the moment is putting me off.  I'm sure in the next few weeks I can gain the courage to let her try alone and simply watch as she wobbles and falls.  My role will then change to picking her up and dusting her off.  She will see this as my fault and will hold me as being accountable for 'letting her fall' but we'll work through that one as and when it happens.  For the time being I'll enjoy watching her learn.

Shrove Tuesday

I realise that in the reality of life my blogs are becoming fewer.  So I make a promise to myself and all you blog followers that I will try and set time aside to update it more regularly.
So back tracking from the past few weeks, here are a few updates.

Lutaaya had chance to eat pancakes on Shrove Tuesday.  You wouldn't believe these photos were taken just after a major tantrum!  All sweetness and light that she is.

Trying to add a learning aspect to our cooking

Trying her hardest to be the best cook in town

And even though they got the thumbs up, she wasn't a fan of pancakes!

Yes adoption can be difficult.  There are times when things just don't go the way you would like them too.  There are always days when there aren't enough hours in the day to do all that you'd like too.  The whole notion of attachment is a whole different story but it lingers in the background of every day.  My friend Bethany wrote about attachment in her blog.  You can read her article here  It took a lot of bravery to be as truthful as she was in her blog and I'm thankful that she had such courage to share her thoughts.  There will always be people in the world who will not understand attachment or fail to acknowledge that it's there.  Believe me it is there.  It does exist and we're working through it day by day.  After all, if you or I were abandoned as a baby or young child, wouldn't we also fear to bond with one main carer?  Wouldn't we live with the worry that they may too give up on us or leave us?  It's a difficult concept to understand if we've never been in that position.  So if you are interested in the attachment issues all adopters face, type attachment issues into google and see what crops up.  It may be worth a read.

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus!

Or Happy Saint David's Day!

Gypsy getting in the mood with our national flowers: daffodils.  Couldn't have planned her pose better!

1st March is the day of the Patron Saint of Wales.  This year, Lutaaya had to join in the celebrations!  She loved every second.  Dressing up in her Welsh rugby top to head to school, eating Welsh cakes and using some of her new found Welsh words.