Last week I was referred to as a proactive mother.
It surprised me to say the least. Not that I don’t think I am proactive, as I know I am, but that it was viewed as the minority not the majority!
Shouldn’t all parents be proactive when it comes to their children?
Proactive in offering play opportunities, proactive in new experiences, proactive in nurturing, proactive in learning, proactive in their social skills, proactive in their development at all stages, proactive in discipline and proactive in parenting!
Being a parent is no easy task! It drains you, it wears you down. It becomes who you are. Some days you feel like becoming reactive and just dealing with the as and when’s of life, but what would my child learn from that? I have always been, and probably always will be someone who will speak out for those not being heard. If my child falls in that category, then I will stand and shout the loudest to get the best for her and get her what she needs to thrive.
You see, things have been difficult lately in getting professionals to acknowledge my child’s needs, especially around her educational development. I felt like I was one voice, standing up against so many others, who just didn’t understand. I didn’t feel it was good enough to keep excusing a lack of support on my child’s background, when I know that she can thrive if given the right support. I have even been questioned as to whether my expectations were too high!!! I mean, what’s that about? Maybe my expectations are high, but aren’t yours for your child? Shouldn’t professionals working with children, strive to get the best out of every child so that each and every child can reach their potential?
So I took the time to research what children are entitled too, and I looked at how government policy state that each child’s beginnings, eg. Cultures, different learning experiences, etc, need to be taken into account on an educational level. I contacted everyone I could to ask for help. I sat in meeting after meeting, trying to get someone to state there needed to be some kind of intervention here, to prevent my child from disengaging from education and to help support her in reaching her potential. Time after time, the frustrations built up, as time after time, I left with more questions than I started with.
Knowing no one else I could go too, I wrote to our local MP. You see in England, children who have been adopted are now entitled to extra mentoring support. In Wales this is not the case and only children in the care system can access this support. It seems a little unfair, with us being so close and all of us a part of the UK. So I questioned this and also told him our personal story. I am so thankful for his intervention, as within a week of receiving my letter, we had another meeting booked and were offered a package of support. He has also said that he will continue to ask at a national level, why there is a difference between services offered to children in England and Wales. I was so happy! Finally someone gave us what was needed.
So the proactive mother in me was what was needed. If I had given up at the first hurdle, and simply given into the reason of my child being perceived as happy in school and making an acceptable level of progress, then she would not be getting the support she needed.
If I am the minority in being a proactive mother though, how many other children are out there, simply slipping through the net educationally, because they don’t have a parent who will shout from the rooftops to get the support they need?
For us, this has a happy ending. Next we have the transition to secondary school, but we look forward to this. With support in place, my next update on schools and education will hopefully be a more positive one. Let’s watch my lil Miss thrive!
And you know what? We, as parents, know what's best for our children, so if you need to shout from the rooftops too - go for it!
